Gotcha Day

Today has been hard, but let's start with recapping last night. After laundry was dropped off and we managed to walk past the Moon House restaurant other adoptive families have eaten at, we took the hotel shuttle to the sky train to go to Robby's first suit fitting. The sky train is amazingly easy to use and very convenient to things like Siam Ocean World, which we will probably go to tomorrow. After the fitting, we found a Korean place nearby that was recommended by the guidebook.

It was very good and fun to try since I think I've only had Korean food once before. :) Then on the way back we found a nearby subway station which has a stop within walking distance from our hotel. We were able to meet a couple of Aussies who are either rabid Rancid fans or part of the touring group. It was fun to talk to them and help them find their stop. Let's just say they were characters. :)

I had been planning to go to bed early, but I started reading a book from the library that was going to expire soon. I ended up finishing it and going to bed after 11. Oops. So I've been a bit tired all day.

This morning we all gathered in the lobby and got some last minutes advice from Pat, then the kids came with all of their stuff. Tut had several big bags of stuff. We may not be able to fit it all in the suitcases. 

Tut was a bit reserved when they came in and played with a pillow while Pat tried to explain everything that came with him. We have five full tins of formula and one that is open, several very large toys, some food the foster mom cooked for him, and a bag of dirt from the foster family's house. Something from there to take with him.

They took a quick family picture since Tut wasn't very cooperative.

Then his social worker told him something, probably that he would be staying with us, and that is when he started crying. We gathered up all our bags and headed upstairs to the room. He kept crying and I think saying "Go Mom" and pointing to the door. The good thing is that he let us hold him and try to comfort him. At the beginning, he would just stare at the door and point and cry while sitting on my lap, then he started turning and making a lot of eye contact while pointing and telling me he wanted to go. At one point when we sat by the door, he peed on me. I think he was too upset to realize he needed to go and tell me. After crying for about 45 minutes or so, he fell asleep. He didn't want to lay back on me, so he actually fell asleep like this.

He slept on me and let me move him to a more comfortable position for about an hour and a half. Then he woke up and cried a bit again, but not as hard. We got the diaper bag together with the ergo and went to find Lumpini Park. He was fine as long as we were walking, but he fussed when we stopped. So we made the entire circuit around the park. He seems to like the ergo just fine.

We saw lizards and birds and people, it was enough to distract him. When I took him to the bathroom, he cried a bit, so a lady gave him a piece of candy. That made him feel better for a while. :)

When we got back to the hotel after about two hours, he started crying again in the room. Robby started playing with him on the bed and we got him to laugh and play for a bit. The rest of the day mostly went between playing and crying. He definitely liked it better outside of the room. 

We picked up the laundry and some dinner to go and headed back to eat in the room. He did okay at first and ate some rice and picked some cashews out of the stir fry. Then he started crying again. He mostly cried with a bit of playing and then I told him he would take a bath. That is when he cried really loudly. Consequently, the bath was quick. We got him in PJs and pull-ups and I sat down with him on the bed. He was crying so hard he threw up on me, miraculously missing the bed. It is a good thing that he has two "comfort towels" that he sleeps with.

We changed him and then Robby took over and got him to sleep while I did a bit of emergency laundry. He is sleeping now, but I don't know how long that will last. Hopefully tomorrow goes well at the board meeting!

Here's Robby:

I know I need to sleep while I can so I'll be brief.

Today, Tut grieved and I was reminded how the formation of our family begins with the severing of another.

I knew the grief would come and had tried to prepare myself the best I could, yet I still wasn't prepared for what I saw today. 

No two-and-a-half-year-old should have to experience what Tut did today. The grief was real and it was graphic. Every muscle was pulled taught -- every hair stood on end -- and the sobs came from deep within. It's clear he loved his foster mother very much, and the severing of a love like that is very painful.

I think most things that are worthwhile aren't easy, and this is definitely in that category. 

The walk around the park was special, because I got to see a bit of the future -- the Tut that will be there when the grief passes. I think I had as much fun as Tut did wrestling on the bed. He has the most wonderful laugh. :)